Well, I can’t believe Harlan is two and a half weeks old already! The last few months of my pregnancy dragged, but now that he’s here time is suddenly flying! I have these moments where I just wish I could freeze time…
It’s insane how much I love this little guy. Like, love isn’t even the word for it. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be an emotional basket case for the rest of my life. I suddenly understand what every overbearing, overprotective mother feels. The things that always made me think my mom was ridiculous — you know: “Call me when you get there,” “Make sure you wear a helmet,” “Slow down,” “You have a bug bite? OMG, you could have west nile!” “You better not drink more than one drink because you could puke and choke on your vomit” — yeah, I totally get it, Mom.
So two and a half weeks into parenthood, things have been generally fantastic around here. Our first night home from the hospital was a little rough (looking back, it was probably my own anxiety to blame) but things have been pretty smooth and awesome since then. I have felt better physically than I imagined I would… way better than I felt while I was pregnant! I did have a few moments of baby blues last week, which is a really weird feeling. I would just be sitting in our living room holding Harlan, and I would randomly start crying. Not even because I felt sad, just overwhelmed with different emotions. It would usually start with me just thinking about how I just love him so much, then I would start thinking about things like him growing up really fast and worrying about things waaayy in the future (like what if he chokes on food someday? how will we teach him how to swim? what am I going to do when he inevitably wants to race? what about when he gets his license? what if he marries someone who hates me?) I’m telling you, I’m going to be certifiably crazy. However, the crying has only happened a few times and passed quickly so I’m not too concerned.
At his 1-week doctor’s appointment, the pediatrician (who is so amazing) was pleasantly surprised that Little H was back up to his birth weight, and since he had gained it all back, she told us we don’t have to wake him up every 3 hours for feedings anymore! That changed everything — especially since the kid just didn’t want to wake up. When I would finally get him awake enough to eat, he’d just fall back asleep after eating for like 30 seconds. Then I’d have to wake him up again, just for him to fall right back to sleep. I would end up being up an hour and a half every time he had to eat, and it just felt pointless and frustrating. Now that we’ve been letting him wake us up, he’s been sleeping for 6-7 hours most nights! Friday night he even slept for 9 hours! I know, we’re really lucky… here’s to hoping it lasts!
Overall, it feels like we have a good routine going. I’ve never been so thankful for Kreig. He had a whole week off after Harlan was born, and I don’t know what I would have done without him. The first couple days home my incision was sore so he waited on me a lot. And my God, he is such a good daddy already. I always knew he would be a great father, but I couldn’t have even imagined how incredible he has been. He never even held a newborn until this past fall, and had literally no experience with babies at all…. but if you saw him right now you would never know it. He asked a billion questions while we were at the hospital, and became the swaddling and diapering master. He pretty much changes every diaper when he’s home, to the point where I feel a little guilty. (Until I remember that my boob is constantly attached to the kid, so I guess it’s pretty evenly split.) I keep thinking that I have no clue how single moms do it… props to you!
My mom spent this past week here, which was so helpful. She cleaned the crap out of our house and cooked fabulous dinners for us. We even snuck out for Valentine’s dinner on Friday night. We pretty much looked at pictures of Harlan on our phones the whole time, but it was nice to get out.
We’ve had random visitors on and off, but nothing too overwhelming. I was so excited last weekend when my sister and my nephews surprised me and showed up (they live 2 hours away). I was so happy Harlan got to meet his cousins, and I can’t get enough of this picture!
Now I’m pretty pumped that Kreig is home this whole week, so I have another week of help and quality time… life is good!